Because I Still Do
by Conflicting.Opposite.Minds
Summary: So I'm hallucinating up Sasuke's, and crying my self to sleep, like it matters. I don't love him.
1. Chapter 1

**Decode**

"Sasuke- kun." Sakura's voice was raw with emotion. " You can't do this again. I- I can't take it another time." Sasuke didn't flinch at the sound of her voice. He continued to walk away from her. Sasuke's embalm had certainly lost it's importance. It was smaller than her little finger. Sakura's breaths became more ragged as he continued out of her life. _Again_. '_See?_' asked Inner Sakura. '_He doesn't love you. He's just looking for his one night. You're less important then all the other girls he's surely taken to bed. You're so gullible. . .That bastard left me to pick up your pieces' again.' _Sakura stiffened at the words. "Am I such a burden that you're leaving me again Sasuke- kun?" Sasuke turned ever so slightly, looking as he did _that_ night. The unspeakable night. "Leave me alone Sakura. I don't want you. I never have. I never will. I_ hate_ you." She cried running after him. "Sasuke, please! Don't leave me again! I love you! Please! I'll do anything for your love! I"ll do anything for you! Any thing to be with you!" And he was gone. "Sasuke!"

oOoOoOoOoOo

Sakura woke to a screaming Ino, violently shaking her . _Fan- fricken'-tastic_. "Omigod, Sakura!" Ino yelled. " It's seven! Shit we're gonna be late!" Ino yanked her covers away. "Forehead! Wake up! Our shifts' at the hospital start in ten minutes!" Sakura sat up slowly. "If we're gonna be late, we may as well take our time." Ino cocked an eyebrow. "Sakura are you okay? Usually you're the one hounding me in the morning so we don't face Tsunade's wrath. Are you feeling all right?" Sakura snored " Yeah. I'm just a little down. Bad dream." Ino tilted her head. "You going to be OK?" Sakura smiled wryly. "I'm fine."

Ino nodded the walk to the hospital was quiet. This was very particular, usually, Ino would babble and gossip. Sakura's eyes would widen and she'd wonder how Ino knew all this and she remained utterly oblivious. "Something wrong?" Sakura asked "No, just no gossip today..." Ino said quietly. _Weird much?_

"How is it possibly possible that both of you are nearly _every_ day?" Sakura and Ino both winced. "Sorry Tsunade- Sama." Tsunade took a sip of her sake. "Whatever. Just be on time on Monday. . . I mean _if _that fits into your busy schedules." She was clearly drunk. "Shizune! Get in here!" Ino and Sakura ran off quickly. "I can't believe she's drunk so early in the day!" Ino laughed. "I can." Sakura giggled at her mentor. "She and Kakashi- Sensei are assinging this years' grads' class to teams and picking team leaders. It's stressful. So she drinks." Ino snorted. "Then she's_ always_ stressed!" Sakura laughed. "Yeah must be." Ino giggled one last time before saying: "So see ya at lunch break Forehead." Sakura smiled. "Yeah pig."

The day was busy, and as all ninja hospitals pack so tight, one barely had room to breathe and as every day went, Sakura, nor Ino had time for a lunch break. This person had broken something during training. He's almost dead. . . She's got a rare and nearly incurable poison going though her system. . . same old, same old. At Five o' clock pm. They clocked out, but couldn't leave until eight thirty. Tsunade gave them a twenty minute lecture on attendance, and than gave them the responsibility of assigning teams. But not before telling them to have a wonderful weekend. Oh, joy. Another all-nighter.

Ino and Sakura walked sluggishly home. "You wanna know what I herd?" Ino asked during their short walk to their shared apartment. "What?" asked Sakura playfully. " Herd that Neji finally asked Tenten out!" Sakura laughed. "Really?" Ino looked at her seriously. "Yeah! Tenten wants our help picking out a dress." Sakura looked at her oddly. "How do you know?" Ino smiled. " 'cause she asked me." Sakura cock an eyebrow. "Sounds like fun. But I can't imagine Tenten in a dress she's way to proud."

"So I added the dress part." Ino rolled her eyes and smiled. Sakura sighed. "Pig, ya really are somthin' else."

When they finally reached their little apartment Sakura was ready to collapse. It was an extremely small apartment, but neither of them could afford an apartment on their own, they weren't getting rich off their ninja missions- there are so few to go around- or the hospital, they could hardly afford a two bedroom _together, _let alone one room on their own, and that was why they shared and apartment. Split the rent and they even had money for food! A lot of ninja were getting room mates lately. Naruto was one of the few who could afford -and god knows how because he's only a genin!- to live on his own. Sakura and Ino even had to ask him to help with shopping. Naruto wasn't the brightest Crayola in the box but he knew how to stretch a budget- come to think of it a lot of people went to him for help. . . Hey! Wait a second!- he wouldn't be charging people--

"Sakura!" Ino yelled. "Hm?" Sakura asked. "Gawd! Do you know how long I've been calling for you?" Sakura shook her head. Ino sighed. "What do you wan to eat tonight? I'm starved" Sakura shrugged, recalling neither had had time to eat. "I don't really care- wait as long as it's not ramen." Ino nodded. "We'll go get some take out!" Ino jumped over to Sakura, who hesitated, bitting her lip. She wasn't in the mood for another walk " Do you no want to come with?" Ino asked. Sakura shook her head. "Sorry, why don't you and Shikamaru go? You two haven't been on a date in so long." Ino smiled "What do you want?" Sakura yawned. "You know my tastes like I do, just get whatever." Ino smiled and nodded and left. Sakura flipped on the the TV looking for something good to watch.

She jumped at a loud THUD noise. When she turned to see what it was she could swear she saw eyes looking at her. Sakura was over come with dread, wishing she had gone with Ino to her late dinner. '_It's just your wild imagination. Calm down._' Sakura giggle nervously and glanced at the clock. It was nine. 'Time for bed.' Sakura was tempted to take a shower. So tempted, she did. When she got out the mirror was fogged up, but she didn't wipe to see herself, she figured it was far to cliché after 'seeing' an alleged murderer outside her window. She slipped on her striped pajama and fell to sleep.

She was however awaken by someone tapping her arm, or perhaps one could call it caressing her arm. She opened her eyes slowly, and her eyes were met by dark red ones. Filled with blood lust. The form kneeling beside her was inconceivably beautiful. She didn't even bother to stop herself from touching the smooth pale face, nor did it try to stop her. She sat up, trying to look at the form better. She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry, and scream, and yell. She leaned towards it grabbed her wrists pushing her back but not moving from it's place. "Sasuke- kun." she breathed the name like oxygen. "Sasuke- kun!" she embrace him. He leaned in very close to her – That was of course ware she was awoken with a swift slap to the face. Ino hovered over her. "How _DARE_ you fall asleep when I have date details to talk about!" Just a dream... Damn!

Ino couldn't have known she had interrupted her dream and her reunion with Sasuke. Sakura was still pissed. But not a Ino, at _herself_. She was supposed to be over Sasuke! He was gone, never comin' back. Sakura had come to terms with that – right ? Couldn't he just leave her and her dreams alone? For one night?

"FOREHEAD!" Ino yelled, "Are you even listening to me?" Sakura sighed. Why hide it? Ino would catch the lie. "Nope." SMACK!

Ino was not a strong as Sakura. She was not because she lacked the perfect chakra control that Sakura had. Girl still has a strong pimp hand. Sakura's face hurt... like _hell_. "I just told you possibly_ the best news of my life_ and you, _you_ have the _nerve_ not to listen?!" Sakura tilted her head to the side. "Sorry." Her eyes watered slightly as she rubbed her hurt cheek. "What were you saying?" Ino's face lit up. "Shikamaru... Proposed!" Ino gushed holding out her hand. Sakura saw her ring. I was _huge_. But not so big that it was totally obnoxious. A large diamond sat in the middle with stones as bright blue as Ino's eyes siting on either side. Ino took it off. "Look inside." In read: 'I will never love another.' Sakura was astonished. "I didn't think Shikamaru was capable of that kind of... non-laziness..." Ino sighed and put it on her finger, "Neither did I. I'm so happy." Ino whispered, her eyes watered. "You really love him" Sakura stated. Ino nodded. "Do you remember when we were young, and we both only imagined weddings with Sasuke? I- don't- know- how-" her words were broken up by hiccups. "I don't know how, I ever imagined life with out him!" Sakura hid her hurt, she couldn't let on that she still wanted to be Sasuke's bride, how she couldn't see herself with anyone else?

"I'm so happy for you." Sakura whispered

* * *

**(A/N:) I know it was sappy, and I love it! If you don't click the back button! I'd like to say I am a_ FIRM_ believer in Inokiba, (it will happen, it _WILL_!)Okay so you should know that this is a** **sasusaku fic, but it will have some narusaku wich sickens me, but... ya know... I want it. Naruhina will also happen. I don't care what happens in the manga. I will never give up hope in any of my couples. EVER. maybe next week... whatever. So please reveiw. pwease? I'll give you an imagiary cookie! ANYWAY.... bye.... Oh! and when new moon comes out I say screw vampire boy, jacob is soooo much betterer!**


	2. Chapter 2

"So, um, Sasuke- kun. . ." He tunned him head slightly. ". . ." Sakura look shoe, she only then she realized she was drawing circles in the dirt, she command it to stop. She needed to look more dignified. "Do you want to eat lunch? – With me, I mean." Sasuke looked at her with a bizarre face. "S- Sasuke- kun?" It took her a moment to realize_ he wasn't looking at her_ – _he was looking through her. _She choked back a whimper. "Sasuke- kun?" his eyes focused on her, her heart fluttered. "Don't make a nuisance of yourself." he used a calm, quiet tone that should have told her he hadn't said it to be mean, he said it as a fact. But she ignored this, turn- tail and ran away from him. Holding back obnoxious sobs of rejection.

OooOoOoOoOo

When Sakura woke up the next morning,(after a restless night.) it was three thirty am. She jumped straight into the shower. After she got dressed, it was only four thirty. So she walk to Naruto's house. She loved Naruto a lot. They were best friends. After a brutal mission, they had... comfort sex. It didn't really mean anything, everyone else (Meaning the Konaha 11) thought it did, but it didn't, and they both knew that. Naruto was just her safe harbor, and she, his. But they were never... intimate. It was clumsy and never very well thought out. (They used protection, of course.)

She remembered they had had a brutal mission. They were soaked in blood, walking home, and it was late. Naruto didn't want her to walk home alone, and instead she spend the night. What happed next... it wasn't planned it just happened. Naruto was her best friend, and it felt right, right at the time. Sadly, hard as they tried, it would never work out between them. They knew that. Sure, they could get married, have kids, and they'd be happy, but there'd always be missing pieces. That didn't stop them. They tried. They knew it would fail. They didn't care.

Sakura quietly knocked on the door. Naruto answered. Only she would come over at such an ungodly hour. He was still in his blue pajama's and his frog hat. He sighed. "Sakura, it would save me a lot of sleep if you just moved in with me." Naruto said teasing her. "I could never, When you finally get up the nerve to ask Hinata- Chan out, there needs to be room." Naruto grimaced. All humor gone. "Then who would take care of you?" Sakura rolled her eyes. "Since when are you the adult in this relationship?" she asked playfully. Naruto smiled and opened the door wide enough to let her in.

Naruto yawned. "So what's up?" Sakura shrugged. "Nothing, you can go back to bed. In fact..." she said reluctantly. "You should." Naruto nodded. He understood her. She was there so she wouldn't feel so alone. When started walking down the hall. When she didn't follow, he turned around. "Are you coming? She nodded and followed him.

Sakura couldn't help but be mystified by Naruto when he slept, he was so innocent, so peaceful, happy, content, you name it. So Sakura watched him. It was when she was most happy. It reminded her of happier days. When team seven was whole. But with those happy memories came sad one, of Sasuke.

When Sakura woke up for the second time that day, she felt restful then panicked. No one lay by her. "Naruto?" she called. She looked at the alarm clock by Naruto's bed. It was eight. A yellow post- it note lay on it. It read:

_Dear Sakura- Chan, _

_When I woke up you still looked like shit – _Thanks Naruto – _ so I didn't wake you. I'm at the training grounds._

_P.S. Sai's out on a mission so we have a new temp. Teammate._

_-Naruto _

Sakura wanted to pout. She didn't want a new teammate. She wanted her old one. She crumpled up the post- it and threw it on the ground.

Slowly, Sakura walked to the training grounds. "Oi! Sakura!" Naruto yelled when her saw her. "This is our new teammate. Kaname." _Oh. I shouldn't be mad. It's not his fault. _Sakura smiled an turned to – Oh sweet lord – the most beautiful boy on earth! He was tall, and had a strong build. His hair was a gray kind of black. His had dark almond eyes. His hair was long, and his right eyes was covered by it. "H-Hi." Sakura stammered. Kaname looked away indifferently. "Hn." Well_ hell, _what dick.

As it turned out, dick, didn't even begin cover it. He was a dick to the seventh power. Cocky, arrogant, indifferent, _mean,_ and snobby. It was like having Sasuke on there team all over again, only worse. After Naruto got tired, it was Kaname and Sakura's turn. "You want me to fight, a _girl_?"he asked. Kakashi nodded. Kaname grunted. Sakura smirked. He wouldn't be familiar with her strength.

Sakura quickly focused chakra to her fists, and punched as hard as she could. As she anticipated, he wasn't expecting it. She could feel, and hear the crunch of his nose breaking, it felt good. She used her other hand to punch him in the gut, and he was out cold. "Nice going Sakura- Chan!" She smirked down at him as he drifted back into consciousness. "Pretty good for a girl huh?"

"Hn." The way he looked at her, he look like Sasuke. She took a step back startled. It _was_ Sasuke. He smirked. "Sakura?" asked Naruto "You OK?" then she snapped back to reality. It was Kaname. "I'm fine."

After that Kakashi decided to end the session for the day, Sakura healed Naruto and Kakashi, but Kaname refused. She had to practically hold him down to heal him. He struggled, but eventually just gave-in. "Don't you feel better now that you swallowed you pride?" she asked sweetly. "Hn." She began to walk away when she swore she herd him say: "I've got something you can swallow, but it sure as hell isn't my pride." She turned back and he was gone.

* * *

(A/N): Please review? I know it's been a long time. I have no excuse.


	3. Chapter 3

Sakura walked home slowly, fuming about how Kaname was a dick. This was not how she wanted to start her day off. When she finally reached her door, Ino opened it and attacked her, well jumped on her. "Where were you?" she yelled. Sakura blinked. "I'm an adult you know. . . I can take care of myself." Ino looked angry. So Sakura decied not to get her head bitten off. "I told you last night I was getting married!" she shrieked. ". . . And?" Sakura asked, slightly annoyed. Ino may not eat, but she still weighs a ton. "I'm getting married in three months! We need to plan!" Sakura looked at Ino amazed by her stupidity. "Three months? That's insane." Ino's eyes blazed with fire. "I know! But it was either this or a year and a half! And I want a wedding ASAP!"_ oh my_. Ino's vocal cords rivaled Naruto's. "A year and a half isn't that long Ino, how will you do this in Three months?" Ino smiled, very evilly. "With your help, Miss bride's maid." Sakura grimaced. This would be a long three months.

-

Sakura snuck very quietly, and ninja like out of the formal attire shop. Ino was a crazy bitch. The last time Sakura snuck off Ino handcuffed her to the couch in the shop. It was scary. She had in fact just completed gnawing through the cuff. Poor Hinata could not be saved. Pity I really liked her. . . but her sacrifice will not be in vain! "Sakura! Get back here!" no! "Get in here! If I have to hunt you down again. . ." Sakura bolted, running as fast as she could across roof top – and right into Sasuke. How lovely. His face hardened. "Watch ware your going Haruno." Sakura stared, waiting for it turn into someone else. He didn't. She quivered. She blinked, and Kaname stood before her. "Oh. You." she deflated, which startled her. She should be happy it's not him. I_ don't love him, right? _". . .ra?" Sakura snapped out of her trance. "Huh? Oh I'm sorry, your right. I didn't mean to bump into you." He inclined his head. "What?"

"You said I should watch ware I'm going" He looked bewilder. "No I didn't. I said, I was looking for you. Tsunade has a mission for us."

"Us? As in team seven?"

"No, just us, that's why I was sent to train with you."_ . . . how observant am I? Well I should be thankful, I really need the money._ " 'Kay, so when do we leave." the man sighed growing impatient. "Don't you ever check the mail? Lady Tsunade, wanted us to leave two hours ago. That's why she sent for us. "Sent for us." the boy seemed to snap. "Just come on!" he grabbed her and ran to the tower.

-

"Sakura. Late as usual." Tsunade said disapprovingly. "Sorry Lady Tsunade." Sakura dipped her head. "Truly." Tsunade rolled her eyes "Yeah, yeah. Anyways I have a mission that requires your particular skills Sakura. I need a medic sent to the waterfall village. We have a case of biological warfare. The Fuku clan poisoned over half the village, and have killed off any medic nin, in attempt to gain control of the village. They claimed to have the antidote, however it was a lie. So I need you to go down there and whip up an antidote ASAP." Sakura inclined her head. "So why do I need Kaname?"

"As I said they killed off any medic nin, you could use the back-up. Also you need to eliminate the head of the Fuku clan, and any one else if need be. This is an A-rank." Sakura bowed her head. "Yes lady Tsunade." Kaname did the same. Within the hour they were off to the waterfall village.

-

Not much was as awkward as a mission with someone who you didn't know, or particularly like. Kaname was bland as a bowl of bran cereal. Not to mention the waterfall village was two days away. "It's getting dark out, we should rest for the night." he said suddenly, Sakura nodded. She was tired, it wasn't getting dark out, it was a pitch black, moonless night. So he built a fire, silently. _Could be wore. I could be with Ino._ "So. . . I've never seen you around before. . ." Sakura said trying to have a casual conversation. "I belong to root, so you wouldn't." _Lovely fellow, great conversational skills. Could almost beat Sasuke. _when he turned she expected Sasuke again. She was wrong. It was Kaname. "I'll keep watch first, for two hours, then you, then we'll leave." It should have been a question, it was mostly her mission but, no, it was statement. "OK?"

-

He was probably in so much pain, he didn't even take notice of her, but she didn't care, because he was laying on _her _and _her _hand was on his chest. And she felt all warm and fuzzy as she realized, she didn't just like Sasuke Uchiha -- she loved him.

-

When Sakura awoke from her happy dream, naturally, Uchiha Sasuke was above her. So she scream, and scratched, she even drew blood until he used sharingan.

* * *

**(A/N:) Yay! I updated! even thought it's short. . . anyway I promise to update soon to make up for such a crappy entry!**


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